Red Sleep
by MeconMe
Summary: Her Prince Charming is already there, had always been there for three months now, but Sleeping Beauty just won't wake-up.
1. Prologue

Prologue

10 years

A decade ago he went home to find his precious family ripped away from him. On that faithful night he found himself stuck on a sick game of revenge and redemption.

7 years

It took him three years to recover and pull himself into action. At this exact day, seven years ago, he first stepped on the threshold of CBI with one goal in mind – to find and kill Red John.

6 years

A year later he found himself assigned in a new team led by a certain lady boss. He wondered how long he would last on this team or rather, how long _they_ would last on him. Well, lo and behold! It had been six years and still counting.

3 years

She was working late that night, finishing paperwork from the previous case and although she looked calm, he knew better, for anyone would certainly be shaken after being held at gunpoint. It shook him too, seeing his boss and bestfriend threatened. And so, to hell with the consequences, he shot a very important man – Hardy. As the light of her work lamp illuminated her tired eyes, he made a sudden and scary realization – he is in love with Teresa Lisbon and has always been, for 3 years now.

3 months

He always knew that he would have to choose and, although from the very beginning he already established his chosen path, he still found himself doubting when he came across the crossroad that would change his life – for the better or for the worst. In the end, he chose life. He chose her.

And there he was, a man free from all the demons of his past. He is ready to face the future with her but, in life (and had always been), there's always a catch.

She has to wake up first.

For there she was, his Lisbon, HIS beautiful Teresa, sleeping like a princess inside her white bed chamber, for exactly three month's now.


	2. Chapter 1 Wishes and Loyalty

**A/n** So, here's the second one. I am SO sorry if it took me this long. Classes had already started and College is, well…you know, just being College . Anyways, thank you guys for reading and for dropping by. I hope you like this one . I should probably mention this – English is not my native language so sorry for all the grammatical errors.

Disclaimer: Nope, not mine. I could only wish.

Chapter 1 Wishes and Loyalty

This can't be happening again.

_Hallway. White closed door. Deafening silence shattered only by echoing footsteps._

No, no. Please. I…I can't!

_Fear lurking through the shadows. Pain, of knowing what could possibly be behind that door. _

No. NOOOOOO!

**Jane's POV**

"Ooookay, there! Now, Teresa, if you would just open your eyes and see your beautiful room, then everything will be perfect."

He looked around the room which he painstakingly prepared and decorated for this special day.

Lisbon's birthday.

Three days ago, he ordered 5 dozen Sunflowers and had them delivered here today. He placed a bloom on every nooks and crannies of the room and he scattered petals on the floor. It's not really a wise decision and the head nurse might get angry with him later but he doesn't care; besides his charming grin could take care of the ruffled feathers. Different colored balloons are floating in the ceiling but he tied all the green ones in the corner table. He made sure that they are of the same hue as her eyes.

Her eyes.

Whenever a new case arrives, they would burn with passion and enthusiasm. In the mornings, they would light up whenever he handover her 1st cup of coffee. He would look at them, as they widen in surprise as she discovers his little gifts – whether they be as little as an origami or as grand as a pony. He would stare in pleasure whenever her eyes smile at him. Even when she's angry for all the troubles he made, they still sparkle like sun rays.

He could just lose himself into those eyes.

Yes, her beautiful expressive green eyes are the reason why he said she's translucent. They are just dead giveaways.

The same green eyes that would probably be glaring at him for the mess he has done in her room, had they not been hidden beneath closed eyelids.

He sighed when his gaze fell on her sleeping form. They had already removed the gauzes covering her stomach wound and head injury. A tinge of rose has graced her pale smooth skin, making her look more alive, masking the fact that she had barely survived and that she even needed life support for the first month. Her hair had grown a little and her bangs are partly covering her left side. When she wakes up, she would probably want to cut it short, but he prefers this.

She looked so peaceful, contrary to the anxiety eating within him.

"If you wake up now, everything will really be perfect and, you will even be here in time to open your gifts." He said, without a smile.

He let his thumb caress her right hand lying limp beside her, while his left hand stroked her curls that formed a halo around her beautiful face.

She looked like she came straight out of a bedtime story book and the nurses even refer to her as Sleeping Beauty and him as Prince Charming. But unlike fairytales, his kisses don't wake-up the princess. As far as he is concerned, his kiss was actually the one that placed Lisbon in this state.

_3 months ago_

It was a moment of weakness, a sudden surge.

The moon is on its fullest glory and California is getting ready to sleep, except him, Lisbon and a bastard. CBI is already deserted for it is close to midnight but both of them are working overtime or rather – she was working overtime and him, thinking overtime. Red John made an appearance again, taking another female victim but this time, the case hit home and shattered it.

A week ago, they received a call and they made a mad dash to the scene after Hightower informed them of the existence of a bloody smile plastered on the room of the latest victim. When they arrived on the scene, he quickly jumped out of the car, eager to start again their game of cat and mouse, after all, Red John had been silent for a year and it made him nervous. He ran upstairs with Cho and Rigsby hot on his heels while Lisbon and Van Pelt are smoothing everything with the PD head.

The white door at the end of the hallway held a letter addressed to him. _Déjà vu._ When they opened the door, his heart stopped and he froze. It took Rigsby all his effort to stop the bile rising in his throat and Cho, the ever stoic Cho, gagged when he saw Red John's latest escapade. When Van Pelt came up and saw the crime scene, she immediately ran out of the house. Knowing that soon Lisbon would be there, the three of them silently jumped into action.

All of them blocked the door when Lisbon demanded entrance.

As much as they resisted, you can't really contain Lisbon, much less argue with her to not take this case. Even though Rigsby and Cho are much taller than her, it was easy for her to tackle them and move them out of her way. When she came face to face with him, all he could do was look at her with pleading eyes. She responded with confusion written all over her face. He controlled his urge to drag her out of there, out of California and out of Red John's grasp. His mind reverted back to the letter.

_Dear Mr. Jane,_

_We've been through this before and you already know what waits behind this door. It had been 10 years and I thought I might give you a little gift to commemorate the day your life spiraled out of your control. I know you're already trying to rebuild your life and it's becoming easier everyday, considering the help you've been getting. You might want to treasure that little help, we don't want you're nightmare to happen again, right?_

_You don't have to be a psychic to know what or who I am referring to._

_Red John _

The moment she moved past him he knew, he _has _to find Red John immediately, not next year, not on the next case, but _now_. Besides, it's not everyday that you find a body, brutally murdered with a slit throat, and looked like the woman you love. Same hair, same eyes, heck! even the same familiar smell of Cinnamon. She was positioned at the exact way he found his wife and daughter a decade ago. For a moment he was transported in another time and he was close to believing that his recent nightmares involving Lisbon has really come true.

Red John really wanted him to suffer.

She handled it well, too well actually. He expected her to cry or to run as far away as possible but as soon as she recovered from the initial shock of finding her life threatened by a psychopath, she started barking orders to all of them, taking this like any other case they had. Through out the whole week, her face betrayed no emotion and no matter what he say or do, she remained a statue; unreachable and untouchable.

His usual antics didn't work and he couldn't break into her walls – they became steel the moment she stepped out of the crime scene. Usually in Red John cases, he would be the aloof one - always thinking how he would catch the bastard and how he would kill him and she will always be the enthusiastic one – always running leads and evidences even though they lead to dead ends and at the same time keeping him at bay by making sure he doesn't do anything stupid and constantly reminding him that he is not alone and that he doesn't have to do things the bloody way.

But now, they changed places.

She'll stay up very late at night pawing through papers, looking for something, _anything_ that could help them. Sometimes they even have to drag her out of her office and force her to go home. Even Hightower is concerned for her lead agent, going as far as to try to pull her out of the case (which he and the whole team highly agreed to!) but the moment Lisbon learned about it, she all but stormed at her boss' office, and fearlessly initiated a scream match which ultimately (and surprisingly) ended with Hightower conceding and allowing her to go on, with the conditions that she be guarded all the time and that she has to report each and every thing they find about Red John to her early every morning.

With these conditions, the team decided to make things easier for Lisbon. Knowing that she would be very aggravated if strangers with the body built of bouncers follow her all through out, they willingly took the role of being her bodyguards. Every morning he would be her ride to CBI. He knows she's really distraught because now she doesn't even complain about him driving for her. Once they are at the safety of the building, they made sure she wouldn't be alone – Cho will always stay at the bullpen with her, Van Pelt accompanies her at the Ladies room and Rigsby always follows her when she goes to the pantry and out for lunch (a perfect job for him) while he is the all-rounder.

He decided to leave his couch in favor for her office couch and whenever they have to go out of the fields, he would always accompany her – whether it be interviewing people with possible connection to Red John or following up leads and evidences. When night approaches and they successfully gauged her out of the office, he would again be her ride and (much to her chagrin) be her cook for dinner.

As much as he would want to stay and keep a hawk's eye at her, he would force himself to leave, knowing that she would want privacy even just for a few hours. Even if she doesn't voice it out, he knows she's irritated with their situation right now – constantly being asked if she's alright, always in the center of attention, forever guarded and never alone.

After dinner (and many failed attempts of cheering her up) he would leave and would climb on to the black SUV parked in front of her house with Cho (who insisted on being in stakeout everyday no matter how long this would take) and either Rigsby or Van Pelt (whoever's turn it is). This had become their routine and he was very thankful for the loyalty that the team is showing because despite being worn out and beaten, they still continue to for her.

Despite the physical exhaustion and misleading ways, Cho, Rigsby and Van Pelt, all of them had fire in their eyes, the same fire that would burn in him whenever he gets so close in finding Red John. They had drowned themselves in the case like never before. But, he knew, that at the end of the day, it will always be him, Red John and (now, whether he like it or not), Lisbon.

And now, it's his time to roll the ball.

As the other's busied themselves, looking at papers, evidences, statements and clues, he spent his free time looking at the pictures of past crime scenes. Red John has varied his techniques and ways of killing but that hateful smile remained. No matter how bloody or gruesome the pictures are, at the back of his head, the smile would always float. At first he tried to ignore it but the gnawing feeling just won't go away.

One night, as he was staring at the bloody smile plastered in his walls, it hit him.

The smile is the answer.

The answer that is now in his hands.

Now, he could finish it. Ten years of pain and guilt and all he has to do is go out of the office, find the murderer and kill him.

As easy as that

…

…

…

Damn.

Trust Lisbon to complicate things.

Where did this sudden urge to tell her his plans came from? Is it from the fear of knowing that he may never make it out alive? No, he already accepted that as the price he has to pay. Is it from the pain of knowing that he may never see her again? Probably, but that is infinitely better than loosing her in the same way that he lost his family. Or is it from the guilt of knowing that by doing this, he will betray her and lose the trust that he worked so hard to gain. Yes, it definitely is the reason. Lisbon's trust is like gold. It's rare and hard to find, but it's worth all the trouble.

But now, he just is going to throw it away.

He was so immersed in his thoughts that he almost missed Lisbon as she made her way to the kitchenette. She was being extra stubborn today that is why despite all the coaxing and pulling, there they are, still in CBI. He knew that she would want to stay up late tonight so he made a great show of sending the other three home, but he is also positively sure that the black Volvo "inconspicuously" parked on the other side of the street, contains Cho and Rigsby.

As he stood up, he had already reached a decision. If this is really the end, then he would want to make it worthwhile. He followed her to the kitchenette.

"HEY LISBON! LET'S PLAY A GAME" He shouted as he entered the room. She was in the process of making her fifth coffee for the day but she came into a halt, when she dropped her spoon in surprise.

"DAMN! Jane, can't you keep it down!" she whipped around and glared at him and momentarily forgot her purpose as she followed the moves of her still-pain-in-the-ass consultant.

He flashed his usual grin.

"Well, I could but I don't want to. Seeing that you want to stay awake – " He pointed to the coffee mug in her hand. " – I decided to help you, hence the yell." He finished his sentence as he stood in front of her and leaned into the center table.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she tried to take control of her nerves. Sometimes, the man could just be so, so… INSUFFEREABLE. When she opened her eyes, he was still wearing that stupid grin. She sighed as she turned away from him and to the coffee maker.

"You know Jane, there is a reason why _coffee_ was invented and marketed." She let out a hiss as she poured coffee in her mug. It would be for her best if she would be able to get out of this room _fast_. When she turned around, she was surprised to find Jane inches away from her. He was looking at her with so much intensity that she felt her knees weaken.

"Hey, you can't go yet! I said let's play a game." He said. A grin broke in his face.

"Only you Jane" she shook her head. "Only you would propose to play a game out of nowhere! No, I don't want to." She said as she stepped out of his way and towards the door. She was surprised when his hands flew to her wrist and stopped her.

"But I want to play a game." He said to her with all the seriousness in the world. Sensing that there is something else, something deeper in this demand, she decided to give in.

"Fine, just make it fast ok! AND, no mind tricks whatsoever, ok!" she said.

"Ok! Let's start! It's just five questions so it's going to be easy." He rubbed his palms in anticipation. She rolled her eyes.

"What's Green, jumps and something you kept?" His Cheshire grin grew as realization dawned on her.

"I don't know" She lied. Badly. He watched with amusement as her grip tightened around the poor coffee mug.

"Oh, come on Lisbon, you _know_ what I mean. You don't want to take the risk of me finding it on your drawer so you decided to take it home with you. AND, I would bet a hundred dollars that it's placed somewhere that you could always see but also a little secluded so as to avoid the prying eyes of your guests. My bet, it's in your bedside table" He said.

A blush crept on her cheeks and for a moment his smile faltered. He remembered the first time he saw that blush and how he thought that she was so cute. He tried to remained focus when he realized that this maybe the last time he saw her blush.

"No, Jane, I still don't know" She insisted.

He chuckled at her predictability. " Fine, if you don't want to admit it then we'll just have to move on." He waited for her and took her silence as a go signal.

"What's red, juicy and your favorite?" He looked as her with anticipation.

"That's simple, its strawberries." She said with a twinkle in her eyes. He knows that those red fruits would never fail to put a sparkle in her eyes. He wanted to believe that if worst comes to worst, those strawberries would help her get through but he knows that it takes more than a mere fruit to heal a broken heart.

"Your good Lisbon. As to be expected." He said teasingly.

"Because your questions are easy Jane. What's the point of this game anyway?" She asked, clearly confused about the significance of the questions.

"Patience Lisbon, patience." He raised his palms to demonstrate his point.

"Now, what's red, tall, stoic and annoying but you certainly trusts." He asked.

"The team, yes, it's the team. You really have a way of conveying things don't you? Annoying, huh, perfect description Jane. But yes, you're right; I do trust all of you. "She smiled and looked straight at his eyes. Damn. He just wants to melt on spot. Lisbon has the most breathtaking smile and it doesn't help his case that soon he might be the one to break it.

"Ok, next, what's blue, certainly handsome but something you don't trust" He inquired.

The ringing of her laughter resounded in the whole room and in his heart.

"You know Jane, I think the answer you want to get from me is your Citroen DS but I want to say that my answer is you." She said, still laughing.

He smiled as he thought how rare he heard her laughter. She should laugh more often and he cursed himself for not making it his mission to make her laugh everyday. As her laughter dug deep into his heart, it also recovered forgotten wounds. His emptiness, his loneliness – when he met the team and Lisbon, he forgot how to be alone, but now, it was like reliving the times when all he have was memories of his family. It's breaking to know that when he's behind bars or (worse) when he's six feet under ground, this moment will remain just a memory. Well, if it's any consolation, at least this memory is just between the two of them.

"Jane, you're spacing out. Well, I guess you're done so I'm going." She was already half-way out of the door when she turned around.

"Hey, Jane, humor me, but I thought you said five questions?" She asked, knowing that she's digging her own grave but also equally curious to know what is the last question.

He stood up and walked to her, until they're bodies are almost touching. Her eyes widened and she stiffened with discomfort. He knew that out of habit, she wouldn't back down from any challenge even if it made her heart race a thousand miles – how he knew, well he's feeling the same thing.

"Ah, the last question." Nervousness is starting to creep into him as he stared at her green eyes. This last question will end all the others that have been hanging around the two of them ever since they met. He internally laughed at the irony of his situation, _for the question could make him, but her answer could break him. _

"Well, Jane, I don't have all the time in the world for your silly game so ask." She said impatiently. Huh, he would certainly miss her minx attitude. Instead of replying, he placed his left hand on her cheeks and lovingly caressed it. As he was relishing on the softness of her skin, he encircled his right arm in her waist and pulled her closer. She was clearly shocked at his boldness.

"Jane what are yo-" He did not let her finish, as he captured her lips.

This is his question.

Her lips are the answer.

They are soft and sweet but he could also taste bitterness. He welcomed this all-too-familiar taste for it reminded him of just how human he is and that there are a lot of things that are beyond his control. The death of his family was one and so was the pain waiting for the two of them.

Pain of separation

Pain for what could have been

Pain for what they could never have

Later as he was driving towards his final destination, all he could think of was that moment and how sweet and bitter her lips were.

**A/n.** Yeah, it's pretty long. Reviews please. Should I continue or not?

Oh, yeah, according to the internet, Sunflowers mean Wishes and Loyalty.


	3. Chapter 2 Happy Endings and Make Believe

**A/n** Yay! Twin Chapters! This is my way of apologizing for not updating sooner as I promised. Yeah, I'm pretty lame at updating, sorry about that, but I am trying to be one chapter ahead so I wouldn't cram. As you may notice, I will use different POV's and voices for the next few chapters. Hope you won't mind that.

**P.S.** Everything I write in here has significance. So read hard! Who knows, they might give you clues to what would happen in the next few chapters – or possibly even the ending! *evil laughter*

**Disclaimer:** Yep, its mine. Really, it's mine... the story that is.

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**...iioWoii...**

**Chapter 2. Happy Endings and Make-believes**

_I'm sorry. _

_Sorry, I wasn't there for you._

_Sorry, I couldn't do it._

_Sorry, I wasn't strong enough._

_Sorry, I, I ... I love you._

_I'm so sorry._

_

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_

**...iioWoii...**

The sun is shining brightly with all its might while the wind freely moves along the corners of the Earth, taking some of the bright leaves and spreading it to places afar. The trees are swaying in silent tune and the birds are singing their loveliest song. The sweet fragrance of nature hung in the air and it filled everyone's heart with contentment.

Yes, today is a good day to live.

As well as to die.

All of these people are here to enjoy and relax. To have a slice of the life they live. But they don't know a thing about life. They only think they do, but really, they don't. Not a single thing – not a single **darn** thing. Here they are spending their wasted time – basking under the sun, sitting with their friends, laughing with their family, but none of them know how to live.

That woman sitting peacefully away from the sun thinks that by doing good things, she's actually living her life, but I highly disagree. She is dead - buried deep down all her pains and what ifs. The man with boisterous laughter thinks that by taking on a happy facade, he could fool anyone. Sure, he could fool his friends and his lover and also himself, but not me. Certainly not I, for I could see that he, too, is dead, dead from the inside. He will forever remain as the useless one and he knows that. The neat man thinks that if he just stays neutral, he won't be able to make any more mistakes – well, he is downright wrong. Taking no sides at all is like going to purgatory – safe, convenient, but never satisfying.

I sighed as I realized that only a few people could see the world in black and white. Take for example that woman buying ice cream. Mocha is Mocha, Vanilla is Vanilla – she'll never cross the line. She wants to, but she won't and she thinks it will be her greatest downfall – that's what she thinks, **I say** her greatest downfall will be her heart.

A chuckle escaped from my lungs as I observe these people.

Yes, they really don't know a thing about life.

That is why I make it my mission to let everyone know how to live.

Today, I would show everyone what it means to be able to breathe and to be thankful that they still have another day to be in this world - to be able to feel joy, pain, sadness; to be able to hear laughter and cries; to be able to smell the flowers and to be able to see the faces of their loved ones.

Who knows, maybe it is his last chance.

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**...iioWoii...**

**Van Pelt's POV**

"Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday.

Happy birthday...

Happy birthday to you."

...

...

...

Cheers and shouts of joy should have followed this song. I would be giving you, your gifts. Rigsby would be looking at the cake with longing. Cho would be wearing a birthday hat since he lost a bet with Rigsby – a very rare occasion. And Jane would be grinning like an idiot for he again placed an outlandish gift in your office, which you would probably have to give away again, since you **couldn't **and/or **shouldn't** accept a gift that jumps, gives lots of noise, sparkles like a million dollars, _**costs**_ a million dollars (or something close to that) and even more, breathes.

But instead, all I hear is silence –

And the occasional beating of the heart monitor.

"Hey boss. Happy birthday."

I know I don't have to whisper, but as I look at you I felt like I would be breaking a spell. Not that I don't want to break the spell – God knows how much we want you to wake up now and act as if nothing happened, but it's just that, you look so peaceful. I believe that after many years of fighting for the good side, you are finally having the rest you really needed.

But don't you think it's time to go back?

"You know boss, you really have every right to be called Sleeping Beauty."

I smiled as I remembered the day I first heard the nurses around here call you that. It was the first day that your gauzes had been removed and you were transferred here in your private room. It was a nice day, and everyone's hopes are up, because the doctor said that you then have a good chance for full recovery. That had been two months ago. Now even if I don't want to admit it, our hopes are... they are... we are... Oh God!

As the realization of what I was thinking sank in, I can't help but grab your hands. In that way, I could still feel the warmth of your presence. I want to make myself believe that your touch would recharge me and my hopes, our hopes – his hopes.

"Boss, you know that Jane too has every right to be called Prince Charming! So, I'm begging you. Give this story a happy ending." I never really liked fairytales since my father is the smug-reality type, but this is one fairytale I would be willing to give everything into, just to see a happy ending.

Happy ending.

My jaw tightened as those two words kept repeating like a broken recorder in my mind.

Happy ending

Happy ending

Happy ending...

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**...iioWoii...**

_3 months ago..._

"Everyone deserves a happy ending"

My head turned as I looked with confusion at Jane.

Despite the scorching heat of the sun, he suddenly felt that it's a good time to take a walk and, in his own words, "breathe the air that keeps our heart beating". He bugged everyone especially Lisbon to spend our lunch time outside instead of the usual delivery and despite the initial resistance which lasted for 5 minutes – a record breaker, boss eventually gave in since he won't stop whining and jumping up and down like a kid. The rest of us really didn't give much of a fight regarding his request, no, I mean want, because Rigsby's stomach is already rumbling, words are starting to dance a samba in my head and Cho agrees with Jane that everyone needs a breather especially Lisbon.

"What did you say?" I asked him.

We are already on our way back to the headquarters when Jane suddenly felt the need to watch his reflection on a fountain and he reasoned to everyone that we still have thirty minutes to spare before Hightower checks on us, so, here we are spending our time in a park in front of CBI. Seeing that there is really no escaping this little adventure of Jane, Rigsby gravitated towards a food stall, Cho went to buy dessert along with Lisbon and, as I see nothing interesting, I took refuge under this tree while Jane continued to admire his reflection.

That was a few moments ago, now; he is looking at me while wearing his usual grin after sputtering a random thing.

"I said, everyone deserves a happy ending. Do you agree with that Grace?" He asked me while still wearing his grin.

_No_

"Yes" I said.

I never grew up believing that I am a fairy or a princess from a lost kingdom and never did those bedtime stories appealed to me and my life is a perfect example that happy endings rarely happen, but I want to make myself believe that the world we are living on, is a perfect world, where morality and humanity still stands out. Despite everything...

"You don't believe that." He said. Of course, this is Patrick Jane, what do I expect, he just has to point it out. "You only want to make yourself and everyone think that you believe that." He smiled devilishly at me. "You live in a world of make-believes Grace".

I looked with amazement at him. Here I am, spending my lunch break sitting under a tree and having a talk about make-believes, with a man who is so good at conjuring illusions that he could almost convince everyone that he is fine, but is so bad at making himself believe that there is still more in this world than revenge and that there is someone else – a certain someone who is currently deciding between rocky road and strawberry parfait - is worth living for more than Red John.

"I don't seeing anything wrong about make-believes." I pointed out as I looked at him straight in the eyes. "Sometimes make-believes shield everyone from all the pains of the real world. Make-believes provide shelter and security, even for a fleeting moment. And sometimes, with added luck, make-believes could come true." Working with Jane taught me that sometimes, he could be so absorbed with hidden truths that he fails to notice the obvious things, so I learned that in order to really get through him, I had to conceal all my intended meanings under heaps of misdirection and vacuity.

As I finished my rumblings, his grin dropped and his face smoothed to a blank, unreadable expression. "Yes, you are right, make-believes have their own benefits." He turned his gaze from me and let out a sigh.

"They could make you think that you could have everything." I followed his gaze and my heart dropped for him.

"But at the end of the day, they are still make-believes." He said in a low voice and like him, my gaze remained glued to the scene that unfolded in front of us.

"No matter how much you want them to come true." It came out as a whisper, and I almost failed to catch it, but even as I felt him leave and no matter how much I want to answer back at him, my gaze still remained fixed on Lisbon who is walking towards us, smiling as she looked at the flower given to her by a little girl.

I watched as Jane easily slipped back to his playful persona as he made his way to Lisbon. I smiled as I watch him try his luck on grabbing her cone out of her hands. I laughed as he changed his tactics and instead try his fate in taking a bite out of her sugar-sprinkled strawberry garnish.

Maybe Jane doesn't really believe in make-believes, but can't he see? He is living amidst one.

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**...iioWoii...**

A/n Anyone could guess where I got the inspiration for the first part of this chapter? That movie was so creeeeeepy! As well as the antagonist of that story!

Third one up too!

Please review too!


	4. Chapter 3 Frozen Hands

**Disclaimer:** Eeeng. Invalid question. Please try again later.

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**...iioWoii...**

**Chapter 3: Frozen Hands**

_Please don't cry_

_Please understand_

_Please look at me_

_Please be happy_

_Please..._

_

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_

**...iioWoii...**

**Rigsby's POV**

If there is one thing I learned from my father, it's my idea of never being late. Yeah, I know, it is pretty ironic since he was never there for me; in fact, he was never there for us. He is always with his friends, having fun, riding through town and doing things that you don't expect from a middle-aged man. He only comes home when he wants to eat, sleep or change his clothes. My mother let him get away with his irresponsibility, but she only asks him one thing, that he be home every Friday for family dinner.

One Friday night, I came home to find my mom lying on our kitchen floor with her knees drawn to her chest and her hands tightly gripping her stomach. Before I knew it, I am already standing before a hospital door, waiting for her to come out of surgery for a ruptured appendix.

I remembered the long wait, the pitiful stares, the deafening silence and the anger that I felt when I saw my father walk through the hospital hall as if he owns the place. His eyes were blood-shot red, his hands were shaking and, as he slouched on the chair beside me, I realized that he still smelt of smoke. But above all those things, what I remembered the most was the pain I felt when I realized that, had he been at home like he should be; my mother won't be at that operating table, fighting for her life.

If I had stopped to buy ice cream...

If I had decided to play catch with my best friends...

A few more minutes later, I would probably find her strewn in the kitchen floor, dead, with the remnants of the pain that she went through, still etched in her beautiful face.

From that moment on, I promised myself that I will never be late. I will always be on time, if not five minutes earlier. It is either I get on an appointment on time, or I will never be there on the first place. This had been my code of living ever since I was 12 yrs. old.

So why is it, that of all the times I could have been late, it has to be the time when I needed to save a friend.

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**...iioWoii...**

300 seconds

Five minutes

That is all it took for each of them to disappear.

Five minutes for him

Five minutes for her

Ten minutes of irresponsibility for us.

Damn

With frustration I hit the accelerator to bring the car a notch faster. We were supposed to be looking for them. We were supposed to make sure that they, especially her, are safe, but here we are, speeding along a highway, trying to make it on time to stop Red John from killing her and to stop him from killing Red John.

Really, I should have known this was happening. Stupid me. He was acting strange all day, stranger than he usually is. That should have been a dead giveaway.

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**...iioWoii...**

"Why are we stopping here Jane? Come on man, let's go back!" If it were any other day, any other situation, I wouldn't mind this little pit stop of Jane, but really, this is not the right time to be idle, we still have to catch Red John before he gets to do his plan – to kill Lisbon.

Jane was standing in front of the fountain, which is situated in the centre of this park. We were walking back to the headquarters when Jane spotted it and gladly announced that we should stay here for a few minutes.

"Oh come on guys, where's your sense of adventure, honestly, did you even noticed that there is a fountain here?"Jane looked at us with fake curiosity. Instead of answering, I only stared incredulously at him. Cho responded by crossing his arms on his chest, while Grace seemed to really contemplate his question. Lisbon, as expected of her, just rolled her eyes at him.

"Ah, I thought so." He said with victory.

"Now don't you guys find it alarming that this magnificent construction is only 20 meters away from us but none of you even realized that this existed?"He asked while wildly throwing his arms in the air to prove his point.

"Does it even matter? It is just a structure that is spouting water!"I said. Sometimes, this man could be so random that he doesn't make any sense anymore.

"For Jane it does!" Lisbon said sarcastically as she looked at the consultant with irritation.

"Oh it certainly is! Of all people in the world, every one of you should know the importance of knowing your surroundings and the people around you." He turned to me and wriggled his eyebrows.

"Oh come on!" Lisbon said as she turned her back towards us, but Jane was faster and he was able to grab her before she could take any more steps. And with that, they again fell into their usual banter.

It is safe to say that this is a lost cause. Sure, Lisbon would try to oppose him, while all of us would support her, but he's just going to be so stubborn that eventually, everyone will just let it go and follow him. Well, at least this park has a few food carts that offer nice sandwiches.

As I finished surveying the park for other food carts, I realized that it's silent again and I turned to see Lisbon and Cho making their way to an ice cream cart while Grace is already half-way near a tree. Jane, on the other hand, remained rooted on the spot as his eyes followed the retreating form of Lisbon. There is no cheeky grin plastered on his face, no twinkling eyes, nothing. For a few moments he stood there standing like a statue, before turning to me and giving me a smile – a sad smile. He was already walking away when I realized that I was given the privilege to get a glimpse of the real Patrick Jane.

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**...iioWoii...**

Something was bothering him and I am stupid enough not to act on it. I should have known. A bothered Jane, a Red John case, a dead woman looking so much like Lisbon – its plain as daylight that he was planning on something. It is also as plain as daylight that I am an idiot.

"Shit!" I punched hard on the steering wheel as I got frustrated on my own incompetence.

My sudden outburst, earned me the attention of the other two people inside the van. I felt a warm hand touch my left shoulder, as Grace, who is sitting at the back, tried to steady my shaking arm. Cho, who is sitting shotgun, spared me a few seconds of his unnerving gaze before going back to surveying the side of the road. He too, is frustrated with the whole situation; after all, he was the one who was wielding the binoculars. He was supposed to keep an eye on them, literally. Every move they make, every actions they take, he was meant to account all of them, but at the end, Jane was still able to make a clean break, and Lisbon, she...

"Jane was acting weird today. Weirder than he normally is." Cho said out of nowhere. His irritating statement broke the awkward silence that enveloped us and I couldn't help but glare at him.

"Way to state the obvious, genius!" I said as I returned my focus on the road. Really, of all the things he could have said!

"It's my fault as well as yours do you know that!" Cho responded with an angry edge on his voice and I looked at him to see his face crumpled in an angry expression.

It's our fault. Of course it is! It's our fault. **BOTH **our fault - his fault, my fault.

MY FAULT!

A dull thud resounded through the car as my curled hand again came in contact with the steering wheel. I took comfort at the pain that shot through my bones because pain keeps my emotions in check.

"Cut it out!" Grace shouted. "We are all at fault here!" She is leaning forward with her hands both clutching each of our headrests.

She turned to Cho and spoke without hesitance. "It's **your fault** that you got distracted and lost count of Jane and Lisbon." She then turned to me, and I could feel her cold gaze boring through my face. "It's **your fault** that you got lax and also lost Jane and Lisbon. And it's **my fault** that I lost track of Jane and Lisbon's locator. So could we just please, please **stop** pointing fingers and get on!" She said as she withdrew her hands and slouched back.

Hearing it from another person, especially from Grace who rarely says things like that, made it no easier for me, but it did knock some sense on my guilt-ridden mind. Cho too seemed to be taken aback by Grace's sudden outburst, for he remained silent for a while. After a few moments, Cho turned and looked at me.

"As I said earlier, Jane is acting weirder than he normally is. I know that he has a tendency to do random things, but he never do things without a reason." He said slowly. "No matter how outrageous his acts are, they are grounded by best reasons." I felt the weight of Grace's hands as she again clutched my headrest.

"You're right, remember the time when he threw a painting to a fireplace? Or the time he said he was looking for a new house. He did all of those things to solve our previous cases!" Grace exclaimed.

"So you mean to say, that Jane's randomness today – his want to eat outside, his insistence in staying for a few minutes in that park, his unnatural attachment to that fountain – all of those things must have a deeper meaning?" I asked, as I found myself caught up by Cho's thinking.

"Right! Tell me, why do you think Jane would want us to eat outside?" Cho asked.

"Well, he said he wants us to "breathe the air that keeps us alive." But I think, he just made that as an excuse for us to go out." I said.

"Yes, yes, that's true. He wants us to go out, to eat at that Italian restaurant we used to go to. But there is nothing different with that. I mean, he used to do that, you know, suddenly suggest that we should eat out instead of delivery." Van Pelt added. She was leaning further towards us and I could see that she is deeply analyzing our situation.

"Van Pelt's right, Jane do sometimes suggest that we go out and eat lunch, but he never, even for once suggested that we stay at that park, much less become interested with the park fountain." Cho was still looking at me but I know that he sees past me, what he sees, is our last (but hopefully not) team lunch.

"That means, there must be something about that park, or probably that fountain." Van Pelt responded eagerly. I could see that the two of them are getting too caught up with their own reasoning.

"But guys, don't you think we are just overanalyzing? What if Jane just wants to really spend some time in that park and look at that fountain." I reasoned. Despite what people believe, I am not fond of taking loosing sides in an argument; I just want to balance it by voicing out the other side.

"But what if he's not. What if there really is something or someone at that park. This is our last chance in understanding what is happening here. We are still running around in circles and we still don't know where they are. Think guys, recall everything that Jane said to us, he must have left us something!" Cho remained steadfast with his idea and I feel my resolves breaking down as I remembered the sadness radiating from Jane's eyes during our last moments together.

"Well, what I am pretty sure of is, after everyone of you went away and left me and Jane standing near the fountain, I saw him sadly look at Lisbon before turning away from me." My heart again ached as I remembered that moment. Grace must have felt my uneasiness because she patted me with assuring hands.

"Yeah. I guess, looking back at it, I now know why he approached me and asked me about happy-endings. He must have known that today is the day he gets to find Red John. He must have wished that there would be a happy ending with this story." Grace's steady hand which is still resting in my shoulders suddenly started to shake. "Oh God!" She exclaimed. "That must have been his goodbye." I took her hand and squeezed it. "What if, if he took us there as his way of saying goodbye." She said as soft sobs escaped from her lips.

I have always figured out that Jane has subtle ways of expressing his true emotions and, even though he likes grandiose things, when it comes to genuine emotions, he tends to express them in simple ways. I just can't believe that his idea of goodbye is bringing us in a park.

Cho, who was rigidly looking at us, slouched back at his sit and pinched his nose bridge. "But why the park?" He asked. "He could have brought us to other place, but why the park?" He said as he again turned towards us and looked at Grace, whose tears came down as steady streams. Meanwhile, I continued to keep my left hand on the steering wheel and my other hand tangled on to Grace's still shaking hand.

"Maybe because it's the nearest one" I concluded. Despite what happened earlier, I am very much willing to set aside my emotions just for the sake of everyone. I know that Cho does not intend to lose Lisbon and I know that I hold as much fault as he does, and I only hope, that whatever happens in the future, we could still remain friends.

"True."He sounded very defeated. "But what's with the fountain? Why did he suddenly insist on taking interest on the fountain?" He addressed me. It seemed that he too is willing to set aside our differences for the sake of everyone, especially Lisbon.

"Well, he did say that we, of all people, should know the importance of knowing our surroundings and the people around us." Grace answered despite her continued sobs.

Cho's seat suddenly creaked, and I glanced at him to see that he suddenly became rigid again. And, as funny as it may sound, I think I could hear the turning of the cogs and wheels of Cho's brain. Suddenly, he slammed his palms on the dash board.

"Quick, Rigsby! Turn around; I think I know where they are!" He ordered, and I could again see, the fire of determination in his eyes, which I thought, has already died earlier.

**...iioWoii...**

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**A/n.** There! Twin Chapters! I must remind you people, everything that I write in these chapters has significance *wink wink*, so if you want to figure it out, read hard, as in hard!

Evil Cliffy? Don't worry; the fourth chapter is already underconstruction.

Preview:

_Tomorrow, I'll still find you sleeping here, Jane will still have that haunted look, Grace will continue to silently cry in the ladies bathroom and Rigsby will continue to remain stoic. _

BTW, please don't get angry with me about Cho and Rigsby, I just thought that, despite their deep friendship, there will be tension between them when it comes to Jane, Lisbon and Red John.

Reviews, pleeeeease.


	5. Chapter 4 Love's Fools

**A/n **I know, I know I abandoned this fic (in fact, all of my fic) for months and I really am so sorry about that, but hey, I'm back and I hope that you will still like this one *fingers crossed*. Anyways, for those who have read the preview from the last chapter, that may not come out until the next chapter because I have to seriously reconsider the plotline and I "found" this abandoned chapter in the farthest corners of my laptop and decided to salvage it and put it up. I just really have to put some Grigsby in this story. Well, enough talking, please enjoy! BTW sorry for all the errors!

**Disclaimer:** Then and now, it's still a no.

**...iioWoii...**

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**Chapter 4: Love's fools**

_Don't..._

_Don't give up..._

_Don't be scared..._

_Don't lose hope..._

_Don't be afraid..._

**...iioWoii...**

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**Van Pelt's POV**

This just feels so wrong. As we sped through the road, I could just feel how wrong this situation is. I'm not supposed to be sitting in this car. I'm not supposed to be loading my gun and preparing to wear my vest. We're not supposed to be running a hundred miles per hour.

Oh no. This is one of those instances when I would be very happy to just sit in my desk and do mundane job such as tracking suspects or check their backgrounds – and to think that I am so eager to be in the middle of the action.

No. With finality, I have decided that I would trade all chances of being in the field, if it means that I am just dreaming this up.

This is it. This is the day that we have all been waiting for - the day that we could finally catch Red John. I have always imagined this day, I have always conjured scenarios where I would happily lock the cuffs around Red John or perhaps, help him get inside the police car or read him his rights or sometimes, help load his body in the stretcher. Those are the ways that I have imagined, no, hoped, things would turn out.

Sometimes, though, reality has a knack of smacking you right in the face.

Cho and Risgby were supposed to keep watch while I monitor their locations through tracking devices attached on each member of the team. But out of nowhere, Jane's tracker suddenly went offline, and in less than ten minutes after that, so did Lisbon's. Now they had been missing for hours already.

"Shit"

I looked at Rigsby as he slammed his fist against the steering wheel. Weird as it may seem, this current situation somehow breached the gap that grew between us. We still tried to avoid each other and made sure that our contact was as minimal as possible, but we somehow reached an unspoken agreement. The fear that crept through us on that day that Red John murdered a woman that unnaturally looked so much like Lisbon made it possible for the two of us to reach out for each other. The idea that Red John is out there again, and targeting one of us, had me always checking on him, and him on me. I need to be constantly assured that he is safe and that he is alright. I know that Red John would stop at nothing to get Lisbon and Jane and I know that Rigsby would **also** stop at nothing to jump in the murderer's way just to protect them. I too would gladly jump in the way, because I know that Lisbon will do that for me, but if that time comes, I want to jump with Rigsby and for the worse, fall with him.

Because without saying it, I know, I still love him and I know that he still loves me.

I love him so much that I had to give him up.

I love him so much that, despite the painful tug in my heart, I had to keep away from him.

He loves me so much that he decided not to press matters when I had to break our relationship.

He loves me so much that despite all the longing looks that he always throws on my direction, he still stays away from me.

But a week ago, things changed.

After emptying my stomach contents on a nearby trash can, I felt two strong arms support me. For a moment, all I could see is red – red sheets, red walls, red smiley faces.

Of course, he tried to make me stay in the background, but I heard nothing of it because this is not about us – it's about Jane and Lisbon and we need to focus very hard. I know that he feels the same way too because I was only met with slight protests as he too became so absorbed with the case. He was determined as never before, and his overprotective brotherly side showed its full force. He had always been so careful around Lisbon, but this week, he acted around her like that big brother that cares so much that you want to either hug him or choke him. On her part, Lisbon was so shaken that she didn't mind Rigsby's ways. Being the jerky brother was his way of releasing all his stress, and it pacified him all this week, except tonight.

"Can't he just wait for one damned second?" he shouted as he continued to accelerate. He is very pissed off with Jane and the man's recklessness but I could also see that he is angrier with himself – he is blaming himself for not being able to protect Lisbon and stop Jane.

"You know if we get into an accident, we won't be of any help for Jane and Lisbon." I pointed out as I finished loading my gun. "Besides, its Jane, you know how he acts towards Red John." After making sure that my gun is good, I set my stare on Cho who is currently talking on his phone. Just a few moments ago, we were discussing Jane's weird insistence on visiting the park, when Cho suddenly announced that he might know where Red John, Lisbon and Jane are. When I heard the location, my first reaction is to doubt it, but as we get nearer and nearer to the place and as Cho started explaining his reasons for believing that the place fits Red John's plans, everything started to click in position. Now I could only hope that Cho is right, or else we would just be wasting our time, and time, right now, is a luxury we can't afford.

"I'm sorry, it's just that -" Rigsby let out a frustrated sigh "- aaarrgh this whole thing is frustrating me!" I watched as he balled his hand into a fist. Yes, it really is frustrating, because up until the last second, we tried to avert the situation and we tried to find ways to convince Jane to let his plan slip through and just follow with our way. At first I thought that he was finally letting his need for revenge go, but I was only set-up for disappointment.

We were fools to hope that Jane will let the murderer of his family go.

We were fools to think that our presence would be enough for him.

We were fools to believe that we meant something to him.

I wonder how Lisbon felt about all of these.

"NO! You do not understand! I know that we only have one shot at this! One shot at saving their lives." My reverie was cut off by Cho who was still on the phone and sounding very irritated and I was surprised with the intensity of his voice. "And I don't care how stupid my idea may sound but this is infinitely better than running around in circles and with all due respect ma'am, we're going in whether you send us back-up or not."

Red John had really mastered the ability to tick everyone off because if Rigsby is the annoying brother, Cho became the unbearable uncle. I have never seen that side of him before. He still kept silent but his domineering side hunted us. His golden phrase of the week: I'm only going to say this once, and if you still don't get it, you can go to hell. Accompany that with his steel gaze and all those who were questioned just crumbled like bread.

I watched as he shut the phone and coldly stared at the dashboard before turning to us with an even more determined expression.

"Hightower is not convinced with the idea and she's hesitant in sending back-up, so we are in this all alone." He looked solemnly at us. "If you have any objections, this is the right time to voice it out."

Silence ensued for a few moments before Rigsby stepped harder on the accelerator, and with that, all talks about backing out dissipated into thin air.

After a few moments, I simply had to break-up the silence, for the tension is starting to become unbearable."It's gonna be alright" I tried to level my voice as I glanced at the window. _It has to be alright!_

As I let a heavy sigh escape from my lungs, I realized that our car had already halted. I can't help but look outside the window and towards the building that is hiding our friends and a menace. The mere fact that Red John is inside the place, sends chills to the core of my bones. It's simply impossible and absurd! But then again, this is Red John that we are talking about! After all, he considers himself as the master entertainer, and what better way to spice up his show, than to do impossible and absurd acts.

As we prepared to get out, I reached for Rigsby's hand and gave it a light squeeze. He brought my hand to his lips and for a moment time stopped. There was just the two of us.

Us.

Will there still be an "us" after this?

"Come on, they are waiting" He tugged at my hands and although I wanted to stay at that moment, I also want to rescue Jane and Lisbon.

We stepped out of the car and were immediately welcomed by the cold breeze of twilight. I moved closer to Rigsby and looked at the dark building that right now, contains Lisbon, Jane and Red John. As I mentally prepared myself for what could be happening next, I felt Cho stood beside me, and my head whipped when I heard him mumble.

"It's time"

**...iioWoii...**

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_Present..._

"Hey Grace"

A coarse voice cut me from my train of thought and I turned around, only to find myself staring at a hollow man that we used to call Jane.

"Hey Jane." I watched as he slowly entered the room and heavily lower himself on another chair situated on the other side of Lisbon's bed.

I watched as he gingerly picked and enclosed Lisbon's tiny hand in between his.

I watched as another fracture wrecked his already damaged heart.

"How are you Jane?" I asked, not out of curiosity, but because of habit, for honestly, I don't really have to ask. All I have to do is look at his eyes and try to comprehend the pain that he's going through.

"I really can't say I'm fine. I'll only be fine when she wakes up." He answered, without taking his eyes off of Lisbon's face. "And until she starts threatening me with her gun, that's the only time that I could safely say out loud that I am fine."

The team had never been the same after the_ incident_. Something inside each of us changed, and although I hate to admit it, Red John has left his mark on our lives. He had left us with the heavy weight of guilt upon our shoulders. But I know, that it won't even compare to the guilt that Jane has to carry every day. The weight that he has to carry was not just caused by Red John; it was also caused by Jane himself.

"You can't keep on blaming yourself Jane!" We have been through this conversation a lot of times already and it always starts and ends on the same way.

"Yes I can Grace! Because it really IS my fault. With all my abilities, I should have seen his trick. I should have anticipated his twist." Self loathing was oozing out of his every word. "I broke my promise to her. I wasn't able to save her, when she needed me the most."

**...iioWoii...**

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**Jane's POV**

_3 months ago..._

It was like reliving the worst day of his life.

After leaving a dumbstruck Lisbon in the kitchenette, and successfully escaping from Cho and Rigsby's watch, he found himself, driving towards his old house – the same house where first found a white paper stuck in the doorway; the same place where he found his wife and daughter, both brutally murdered; the same room where a bloody smile continues to taunt him.

And now, here he is, going up the same staircase, walking through the same silent hall, looking at the same door with another white paper stuck in it. As his left hand reached for the paper, his right hand tightly gripped the small gun hidden under his vest – the same gun given to him by a man who was able to exact revenge from his wife's killer and tell him that it was worth it.

Now, it is his turn to avenge his family but aside from that, now is also the time for him to end the sufferings of the people he had come to cherish.

Now is the time for him to end the sufferings that she had injured for him.

All of that is behind this door.

And the only obstruction in his way is the crispy white paper that he is currently unfolding with his shaky hands.

_Dear Mr Jane,_

_Happy tenth anniversary! _

_Now, it is only fitting that I remind you of how we came to this day. It started when you arrogantly slandered me and made me look incompetent in front of the media. Well, I think that it is only right that I return the favour you bestowed me, ten years ago. _

_Why don't you open the door and see for yourself how it feels._

_Red John_

He froze as his gaze fell onto the last words left to him by Red John.

_How it feels._

Feels like what?

His head started reeling as he realized that Red John is still leaving him a puzzle to answer despite the fact that they both know that this ends tonight.

Why does he have to do that?

_This game ends tonight. Here! In the very place where Red John first painted that bloody smile into his life. But why does he have to leave another puzzle? What is he planning?_

As whys and whats started to fill his head, he took comfort from the fact that no matter what Red John has in store for the night, Lisbon is far away from him, and thus, is far away from Red John and his horrendous plans.

With a heavy sigh, he crumpled the white paper and took his gun from its hiding place.

And with a heavy heart, he pushed open the door, expecting to be greeted again by the bloody smile and the bloody man who started it all.

As he opened the door, he was rooted to spot because he found himself inside an empty room and staring at a white-washed wall that contains a bloody word, instead of a bloody smile.

_BOO!_

**...iioWoii...**

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**A/n** Oh My Gosh! Where did the bloody smile went! And what's with the creepy word!

Please don't kill me for leaving another cliffy! Because I promise I will be able to update this story this week because the other chapter is almost done and I already know where this story is headed. So please tell me what you think! It might still be a little hazy but the next chapters will slowly clear everything up! Swear!

Now I know you already know this preview, but I'll post it anyway. (And this will really come out on the next chapter!)

_...tomorrow, I'll still find you sleeping here, Jane will still have that haunted look, Grace will continue to silently cry in the ladies bathroom and Rigsby will continue to remain stoic. _

Reviews pleeeeeaaaase!


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